Snapshot of a bloggers absence

Yep. I've been MIA.

No, I haven't been trapped under anything heavy... except my life.

My life isn't "heavy" like a burden, there's just a LOT in it.

Like your favorite purse... it can be a lot to lug around, but you wouldn't DREAM of being without it or anything it contains!

So, since my last post of actual significance which was... hmmmm... let's see... August 16th! Agh! Shameful! Since then, a lot has transpired and I just haven't had the organization of thought to make it all presentable in a palatable manner. As a result... I am resorting to a list.

Disclaimer:
Due to the fact of linear thinking and a chaotic mind being mutually exclusive, this list is most certainly NOT in chronological order:

• On August 21st, Princess gave birth to our newest heifer: Rosalina. She's ADORABLE and is a constant source of smiles and general amusement. (No. I don't have a picture yet. BAD cow mom! I'll post one when I can get her to hold still long enough to snap a shot.) This brings our herd back up to four ladies. If Sparky doesn't throw a bull calf in February when she's due, we may have to resort to buying our beef. Yes, I know it's possible to "freeze" females... I just can't do it. I'm weird. I know. No shock there.

• We are now down to four cats. On October 24, we had to put down our oldest kitty, Houdini, aka: "Old Pet." It was difficult, but better for everyone in the long run. He was 15.

No, I won't be changing the name of the blog to Fabulous Four Cat Ranch. Lucky Seven it will remain because... well... I'm confused enough and it rolls off the tongue so nicely.

• I'm now buying our coffee beans green and (thanks to the tutelage of Lisa B.!) roasting them myself. It's fun, economical and STUPIDLY easy! I may have to do a tutorial post. If you only knew... You'd kick yourself. James has even gotten into helping out with the roasting from time to time. Purely due to his innate brilliance and good judgment he has become quite the roast master himself with virtually no help from me.

• Also, thanks to Lisa B., I am learning to make my own soap! It's so cool. She has these brilliant formulas she has devised herself and has kindly taught me how to prepare them. Chemistry is so cool! Don't be expecting a tutorial on soap making though as this is top secret, proprietary stuff and if I tell you how to do it, she'll have to kill me. If you would like to experience the loveliness and quality of Lisa's hand made soaps you can purchase them at her Etsy shop. Go there now! Christmas is coming, people!!

• Other ongoing projects: making my own pot cheese and Kombuch Tea. Both YUMMY and fun... though the whole Kombucha culture/mushroom/SCOBY thing vexes James. Yea, it's a little creepy looking while it's brewing, but it's SO GOOD and cheap to make as opposed to buying it. Example: At Whole Foods you can buy what I think is about a 12 oz bottle for around $2. I can make two gallons of the stuff for HALF THAT! Uh huh. That's what I'm sayin'.

• Since October 6th we have been making dinner for twelve every Monday and will continue to until at least the end of the year. Due to completely unfathomable and overwhelming circumstances, our Pastors' family has blossomed from four to eight... six of whom are teenagers. That's a pretty expensive endeavor on ministers' incomes, ya gotta admit. So, when the opportunity presented itself for us to contribute in the form of a dinner once a week, we jumped on it. Really, it's fun for us and such a blessing to get to do something so helpful for people who do so much for us. They are SO appreciative it makes us want to do even more. If only we could.

• We had yet another epic battle with the Tar Weed this year. Yuck! There is no magic bullet for this menace of Biblical proportions. It feels SO GOOD when we can finally mow it down in the Fall.

If anyone has advice for how to safely wipe this stuff out for good, please SPEAK UP!








• Anna got her Red Belt in Tae Kwon Do! So, yes, that does mean I travel with my own personal body guard. Don't let the sweet smile and angelic demeanor fool you...

If you're a board, she's lethal.

Lumber trembles at the sound of her name.

She has never missed a board break.

Her kihaps are a thing of fierce beauty. The stuff of legend around the dojo.

I'm glad she's on MY side!

Go, A-Bomb!!


• James had fun painting my hair for Halloween. We even thought briefly about doing something similar the next time I got my hair colored for real but wisely reasoned that much more than a week past October 31st it would cease to look cool and fun. Rather, I would take on the appearance of a soccer mom trying to pass as a rock star. Not pretty.

I stuck with the tried and true color combo and will keep my rock star fantasy safely confined to the shower.


• Under the heading of "Sometimes 'too good to be true' Really ISN'T" or: "God is totally mind-blowingly generous!" we found ourselves the fortunate recipients of a FREE SPA!!

Yes, you read correctly.

F-R-E-E

S-P-A

To make a VERY long story short... Our church owns a house that had a spa behind it that had to be removed or the insurance company wouldn't cover them.

In the weekly email mail bulletin, buried in the middle was a message that basically said, "if you want it, come get it and it's gotta be gone before the first week of November is up."

Well, as you can well imagine, we were all over that one like syrup on a pancake. We were the first to respond, thanks to the fact that I'm in front of my computer most of the day, and gave the spa a happy new home.

After investing in professional moving services (can you say 700 lbs!) and a small fortune in electrical wiring, breaker and a replaced power relay, it's up and running! Of course we had to shell out some cash to get it set up and working, but we would've had to do that even if we bought a brand new one so we're ecstatic... as are all of our parents' aching backs... :)

Gratitude? We're SOAKING IN IT!!


Well, folks, you are now officially up-to-speed on the dizzying swirl of excitement that is my blissful little life. :) Hope you're all well and happy out there in the blogosphere!

Cheers, Y'all!

TMI

Six random things about me.

Blame Beth. She tagged me and I'll have guilt if I don't comply. Resisting Beth doesn't work out for me. Ever.

Here are the rules:

1.Post the rules on your blog
2.Write 6 random things about yourself
3.Tag 6 people at the end of your post
4.If you are tagged, just do it, and pass the tag along!


Here goes...

Eins. At one time I spoke nearly-fluent German. In college, I took so many Deutsch classes, it was almost my minor. As of today, I can remember slightly more than squat. Auf Deutsch? Ein Bisschen.


Zwei. I have so much to blog about my brain just may explode but so lack the prioritization skills as to even know where to start. When I think I WILL start, the mountain of clothes in the laundry room glares at me with such distain and disgust I chicken out.

Drei. I am currently forgoing coffee and wine on the weekdays (except in very specific circumstances) in an effort to 1. lose some weight. 2. prove to myself that I really DO have SOME self restraint.

Vier. I'm married to the most amazing man on the planet. Period. Anyone who knows us, all we've been through in the last 12 months, and where we are now can only emphatically nod their heads in agreeable abandon. There are some SLIGHTLY less amazing men out there, sure, but my James? He's the KING of the great men of his generation. So there. Now you know. Feel free to laud him openly.

Fünf. One reason I love this time of year is because the weather is still mostly sunny, but cold enough to have fires at night. I ADORE FIRES! Were it up to me, when it's just a little too warm for fireplace activity, I'd open all the windows in the house and build a fire anyway.

Sechs. I am the most grateful woman in the known universe. See "nummer vier" and the little beauties on the right below.


SO, that's it. All my over-tired gray matter can produce at the moment. For both of you who come here on purpose, I do hope to ACTUALLY blog again some time soon. Hi, Mom!


Now tagging:

Lisa B.
Richie
Angelina (though I seriously doubt you'll do this)
Wendy (since you've done a zillion of these things... lets say... list the six strangest things you've eaten on purpose!)

I know that's only four people, but I just don't have that many blog friends. See, you have to actually WRITE for people to want to be blog buddies with you. *sniff*

Good thing I'm not hung up on my virtual popularity! LOL!

Happy Monday, Y'all!

There is no such thing as "Original"

Ninja Cat: Fun Filler For the Feline-o-phile

Dude. I just shot coffee out my nose.

This is awesome.

Watch for the fluffy white cat...

... its behavior on the treadmill and mine are eerily identical.

Real post coming soon...

While you're waiting for my gray matter to issue something of reasonable pertinenance, here's an awesome quote I found on the NYT humor page:



"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."

— John Wayne



Truer words were never funnier, Pilgrim.

Happy Friday, People!

For the men in my life... and my mom.

Although they were kinda makin' fun of him on the New York Times humor page, I can think of at least six men in my family who will think this guy and his contraption are super cool! I know I do. Who does this remind you of, Gentlemen?




Here's to old guys who will find a way to stay productive and follow their passion no matter how many years have accumulated under their belt.

Rock on, Del!

Dude.

"The One?"

Sounds like an awful lot of responsibility to me...

How about "The Really Enthusiastic Alternate" instead?

Can I still have the cool trench coat, shades and mad bullet evasion skills, though? OOO! and The Jiu Jitsu! I want that too!

Which Action Hero Would You Be? v. 2.0 created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Neo, the "One" Neo is the computer hacker-turned-Messiah of the Matrix. He leads a small group of human rebels against the technology that controls them. Neo doubts his ability to lead but doesn't want to disappoint his friends. His goal is for a world where all men know the Truth and are free from the bonds of the Matrix. Neo, the "One" 71% Maximus 67% William Wallace 67% The Terminator 63% James Bond, Agent 007 58% Captain Jack Sparrow 54% El Zorro 50% Indiana Jones 46% Lara Croft 42% Batman, the Dark Knight 33% The Amazing Spider-Man 33%

I'm craving doing laundry...???

Photo courtesy of Flickr... though this could be a scene at my house right now.

That is what happens when one is without a reliable water source for three+ days.

We lost water on Sunday morning and have yet to get it back in earnest. We got a new water pump installed and had a day of about half normal pressure. The water pump was not the source of the problem. Thankfully while we had at least a dribble, my brilliant husband thought to fill one of our bath tubs to ensure water for toilet flushing(!) and minimal hand washing. However, as the issue required more investigation and repair we currently have no running water at all.

It is very interesting the things one is forced to consider upon deprivation of precious H20.

For example:

• What am I touching? I can't just wash my hands "willy nilly."

• What do I feed people? The fewer utensils, plates and clean-up the better.

• How much clean underwear do we all have... or lack?

• How does one fill two 60 gallon water troughs with no running water?

• Ever contemplated watering a 40 x 20 garden full of tender, tiny sprouts with a watering can and swimming pool water?

• How does one get ready for work in a dignified office setting when you can't shower? This I can tell you involves a bucket, an empty bathtub and very cold and speedy hygienic practices... Poor James!


These are just a few of the thoughts that have rattled across my brain pan in the past 36 hours.

How do I feel right now?

Thirsty. We have plenty of bottled water, but somehow knowing there's not water in the faucet makes me feel parched.

Dirty. I am very deliberately not exerting enough energy to get all "dewy" as I already feel like every molecule of dust floating maliciously in the air is preternaturally attracted to my skin and fully aware of my inability to bathe conveniently.

But mostly it's a lot like I'm camping in a *really* nice motor home in one of those spaces without the water and sewer hookups... and the bathroom/shower hut is a half mile hike away on the other side of the camp ground.

I hear there is a plumber working up the hill at my in-laws' house connecting by-passing pipes as we speak. The broken pipe, it seems, lurks beneath a concrete slab so re-routing the flow of the life-sustaining liquid is far more practical, and preferable, to ripping up a ton of driveway to fix the leak directly.

God bless the family members willing to dig for hours to expose the pipes and a plumber/friend willing to massage his schedule to make our problem a priority. We would be in dire straights... and stinky for much, MUCH longer... without their generous help!

Whenever we lose water or power I am always forced to think of those living in countries where utilities are intermittent at best or even non-existent. I don't think I take the luxury and privilege of reliable infrastructure for granted until I spend even an afternoon without... and then I feel very guilty for not appreciating them much more than I actually do.

In this particular shortage, I have noticed myself very aware and possessive of half-consumed glasses and bottles of water I spot laying around the house. Suddenly, I see them as opportunities to wash my hands or rinse off a spoon. Maybe give a plant a drink. I am afraid free water has made us more wasteful in its abundance.

I have never really thought, *really* thought about what a luxury it is just to have the opportunity to have a clean body and clothes. Right now, after a shower, all I want is to run my dishwasher and do about six loads of laundry. I can't imagine living permanently in conditions where you can't even count on a safe glass of water to drink, let alone access to enough to wash anything.

It makes it difficult to feel too sorry for myself when I think of our dilemma on a global scale. I mean, if I got desperate for some form cleanliness I could go for a swim in my inlaws' pool. Not so for all those dust-encrusted African kids we see on the big screen TV broadcast in high-def digital cable...

Somehow, when I think about it in those terms I don't feel nearly so inconvenienced and a whole lot more grateful that my "plight" will last a total of a few days and gave me an opportunity to begin to really appreciate how fortunate we are to live where and when we do.

It's the *little things* Y'all... Seriously.

Stay Tuned!

There is a very important, highly-informative post brewing.

All I need is more folded laundry, more visible floor space and less visible dust and it's all yours!

Come back soon!

Friday afternoon amusement

Been wondering what to do with all your old vinyl LPs?

I guess if you can't play the disk, your last resort is to play with the cover.










You can check out more of 'em at sleeveface.com.

Happy Friday, Y'all!

A study in green

Welcome! Welcome! O tender, sweet and crunchy Spring!

O, the succulent, green shoots and pale, infant blossoms so laden with the promise of luscious Summer fruit!

Even my heart is salivating.

Sick and Wrong

I thought the Vosges Bacon chocolate bar was "pushing the envelope" but still within the quirky confines of "acceptable."

This, um, well... I think the envelope just exploded.

For those of you for whom bacon is it's very own food group... and you know who you are... you can find this, er... bold confection at Marini's in Santa Cruz...

Or save yourself the airfare and just fry up your favorite nitrite-laden porcine product and dip it in a molten slurry of salvaged, half-eaten Easter candy.

Now if you'll excuse me, having merely looked at that picture, I must go squeegee my arteries.

Peas-out, Y'all.

Rich women in hats

No, that doesn't exactly describe (in dollars, anyway) the two of us that you see here, but we sure were surrounded by 'em.

My dear friend, Julie whom also happens to be my rep at Portland Monthly Magazine honored me with an invitation to "Hats Off To The Hill:" a benefit for OHSU Women's Health Center. Held at the Portland Art Museum, this event raises money for free tests and services for women without health care benefits. The proceeds usually end up serving between two and three hundred women and save many lives in the course of a year.

Anyhoo, I'm not a name-dropper or anything so I won't tell you who sat on the other side of me, or who was at the table next to ours, or who opened the donating "auction." Let's just say, even I knew who they were and, being the complete hick that I am, I don't know anybody!

Ok, ok. I was this far away from Arlene Schnitzer's cute little self, but that's all I'm sayin'.

It was really fun and a great cause to get to support, even if it was just with my presence. They opened the donating at $25 Grand... um, kinda steep for my checkbook at the moment.

Also, a big "Thanks, Girlfriend!" goes out to Angelina for providing my stylish chapeau! I may never take it off.

Thanks for the fun afternoon in the Big City, Jules!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Which also means, Happy Anniversary Kelly and Laura! And thanks for making it so danged easy to remember. Smart thinkin'!

Lots more to post once I finally catch up from all the things I need to blog about!

In the mean time, enjoy the cheesy goodness of the above snippet of a under-appreciated classic.

Nachos anyone?!

Adios, Y'all!

I have but one question...

... I have *seven* cats. What does that make me?

You're right. I don't want to know.


Please note: it's not like I reside in a studio apartment with my feline throng... I live on acreage, People. This fact should be taken into account when forming your judgment as to the degree and severity of my psychoses...


Kitty People, enjoy the vid'!

Rx for thought...

I just gave our very old cat his antibiotic liquid and was intrigued by the fact that it is BANANA flavored... and not just banana... really BAD banana.*

For a cat.

Is it just me or does it seem for more logical that medicine intended for a feline should be flavored like, oh I don't know, field mouse or maybe even tuna fish?

Banana.

Who's idea was that?


*The reason I know what it tastes like is because I had to mix it up from powder and in breathing in a little of the powder, I got a hit of the very strong and disgusting flavor.

Beer... Me... Yes.

Try though I might, I have never been able to like beer. I WANT to like it, but that particular acquisition of taste has perpetually eluded me.

Hefeweizen has always been the closest thing to an enjoyable beer I have encountered, except for perhaps McMenamins Ruby Ale... a lovely, sweet and *girly* raspberry brew, but one can only get Ruby at McMenamins' fine establishments. *sigh*

While I may like a few sips of Hefeweizen, I could never be counted on to down a whole bottle.

I appreciate completely the culinary merits of certain food pairings. In fact, I can never eat pizza without *wanting* a beer to go with it but have never been able to complete the transaction.

This is me trying to enjoy some Widmer Hefeweizen at
Zippy's Pizza in Yamhill. Photographic proof that beer will NOT make you more attractive unless someone ELSE is drinking it... what a train wreck!

On Wednesday night we made fajitas for dinner and, like pizza, fajitas SCREAM to be served with beer. James cracked open a Pyramid Hefeweizen he had bought to try and gave me a sip...

Oh. My. Goodness.

Creamy.

Rich.

Silky smooth...

No bitterness.

No aftertaste.

Just a mouthful of unfiltered loveliness that begged me to have another.

The taste of it was unlike anything I had tried before.

I couldn't get those fajitas made fast enough.

I raced to the table and enjoyed every single sip and bite. Completely astonished at this miraculous new development.


I finished off both fajitas and the entire bottle of malted goodness... then I took a nap.

Cheryle, Angelina, and others of you who have known and experienced my beer-averse frustration, I hope this day I have made you proud.

Cheers, Y'all and Happy Friday!

I know what you're thinking...

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

(This little foray into randomness inspired by Beth.) You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive. You understand people better than they would like to be understood. Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details. You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on! Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

Confessions of a weak, WEAK woman

I have mentioned in past posts how I can resist candy and junk food all day long, but when it comes to baked goods I am rendered helpless.

Well, yesterday, my random act of kindness backfired and has come back to bite me square in the fanny... literally.

I decided James needed a treat so I called around Mac to find someplace that would deliver cookies to his office. I managed to find a florist who knows of a place that makes the best frosted cookies ever and can deliver them before lunch! Everything is working out perfectly so far. He feels all warm and fuzzy AND he'll gain weight and I WON'T! (insert maniacal laugh track here.)

The cookies arrive, he calls and thanks me profusely, to which my natural reaction is to ask, "So, how are they? What are the like?"

This is where the trouble starts.

"Oh, they're GREAT! They're the size of a DESSERT PLATE and SLATHERED IN FROSTING!!! They're SOFT and CHEWY and CRISPY on the edges and ONE just about put me OVER THE EDGE so I decided to share them with the office."

To which my dainty reply was, "DUDE!! You had better bring some home to me if you ever want me to send you cookies again!!"

And so he did.

Damn... er... bless him.

He brought home two. More perfect examples of superior bakery issue I have never seen.

I was entranced. The textures. The flavors. The quintessential pairing with ice-cold milk so fresh it was mooing that morning... NIRVANA!

I am powerless in the face of such forces.


I

ate

one

whole

cookie

on

the

spot.

So then I said to myself, "the only thing as good as the cold milk combo would be that of said ambrosia with, say, the perfect cup of coffee... and mere hours prior I just happened to procure nearly a pound of Organic Sumatra Gayo Mountain roasted only yesterday!

But, wait! I should save that cookie for the girls...

...though they don't even know it's there so they won't miss it..."

Oh, how the battle raged. But I did manage to get some sleep.


This morning, James brought me my coffee in bed. Wow! This new level of service is unprecedented and he better be careful with such indulgent behavior because I spoil faster than shellfish in July.

So, I go padding out to the kitchen, coffee in hand and what jumps out at me from behind the wine rack? Why, that dastardly cookie, of course!

After roughly .85 seconds of grappling, it was bisected and half was meandering blissfully down my esophagus, awash in cream-laden java. Ahhhhhh.

That... was... PERFECTION! But that's IT!

I have recently lost very nearly 30 pounds. Though involuntary and not a program I would recommend, still, I needed to be rid of the weight and plan to TRY to keep it off with exercise now that my appetite has returned, much to my chagrin.

Afternoon arrived, and along with it, lunchtime.

I had a pretty reasonable meal... half of a leftover chicken breast, rice and broccoli. Yippee for me!

As I'm taking my plate to the kitchen a quick whiff of freshly roasted coffee teases my right nostril.

I steel myself against it and press on to the sink.


I remind myself that the very complicated coffee maker would need to be completely dismantled, cleaned out and reassembled to make ONE STINKING CUP OF COFFEE only to have to repeat the whole process once again for the morning brew.

Way too much trouble for a single cup of afternoon joe.

Then, I turn to walk across the kitchen and my eyes fall on the other half of the morning's transgression... and my mind darts nimbly to FRENCH PRESS!!


One cup of coffee is a cinch in a plunger pot and if I get that blasted second half of cookie out of my life then I can move on and get back to focusing on carrot sticks and Yoga... Right?


Ok. I'm done.

It's gone.

I'm safe now.


When will that florist call me back and tell me where I can get MORE?!!! I can't stop thinking about THAT DAMNED COOKIE!!


Ahem.


Ok. I'm off to the kitchen to get more carrots. Yoga starts in four hours and fifteen minutes and I have some serious karmic reparations to make.

Ohm... There is no cookie... Ohm... There is no cookie... Ohm... There is no cookie...