Things I Know For Sure Now That I'm 42

In my four-plus decades on this planet, I have learned, or perhaps more accurately realized and assimilated, more in the past 24 months than in the sum of the previous 480.

These realizations range from profound to just plain silly and what follows is a by-no-means-complete list in no particular order:

• There is no greater or more powerful path to REAL Freedom than complete surrender to Truth. The process for me hasn't been pretty, easy, instantaneous or anything less than excruciating, but the payoff has truly been life-changing. "The Truth Shall Set You Free" may be a cliché ... that doesn't make it any less accurate. The thing about secrets is, you don't realize how heavy they are until you have none. What sweet relief!


• Miracles happen. Every day. Everywhere. You've just got to be willing to see them for what they are and stop using limiting, cyinical words like "coincidence," "accident," and "fluke." God loves us and wants to surprise us with happy things like any loving parent does. This morning He surprised me with two, very appreciated gifts: My children slept until nearly 10:00 (which NEVER happens) AND a "bouquet" of daisies that just appeared in our pasture this morning, right outside my kitchen window. These are the ONLY daisies in our pasture. Two acres of weeds and grass, never one daisy and precisely on June 20th... Boom. Like I said. Little miracles.


• When he puts his mind to it, my husband is an excellent cook! This morning he got inspired to make me strawberry crepes for my birthday... and he knocked it out of the park! I'm quite certain that if he ever got truly turned on to the idea, he would outstrip my culinary abilities in a heartbeat. While I await that glorious day, however, I will just enjoy his momentary gourmet outbursts and my current reign as primary house chef.





• Crepes are an absolutely outstanding way to serve fresh strawberries!

• And when you run out of crepes, they're really awesome on left over strawberry dumpling noodles, too.

• My children are two of the most Spiritually aware and powerful people I know.

• I LOVE to mow the lawn! (As long as I'm using our riding mower.)

• I enjoy doing stuff in the yard a whole lot more than I ever thought I would and am now a little obsessed with landscaping, plants and the outside of the house in general.

• There is nothing on this earth that can overpower the fierce beauty of Grace.
Definition:
Grace: 1. (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings.
2. My youngest daughter.
Take your pick, they are both truly AMAZING.

• I am certain, no matter how old they get, my children will never outgrow their passion for dirt.



• My oh-so-fragile preemie, first-born has blossomed into a vibrant, resilient, generous, brilliant young woman who embodies genuine love and intense gentleness. Anna can smell God in the approach of a rain cloud, see Him in the emerging chartreuse hues of Spring's first tender shoots and respects every creature and being as unique and precious... from potato bug to toddler.

• My husband is a study in unknown depths. Just when I'm certain I know all there is to him he'll surprise me with some insightful observation, unexpected wisdom, or tender expression that takes my breath away. I am beyond grateful that I had the unparalleled honor and privilege to marry him twice!

• I have never been more contented or truly joyful in my life and there is no place or time I would rather live than here and now and no other person I would rather be than me.

• To say I am "fortunate" is an understatement of Biblical proportions... fact is... looking at my life and the Grace, Love, Abundance and Blessing that define it, I'm convinced I'm God's favorite! :D


Happy June 20th, Y'all!

More empirical evidence for the Baking Soda Solution and a word of caution

Look at me! Two posts in two days! Who'd-a thunk it?


Greetings fans of natural remedies!

I just wanted to pop in for a moment and give you an update on the whole Miracle that IS Baking Soda thing.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not a doctor. Don't claim to be a doctor. Don't want to be a doctor. Read and consider the following at your own discretion and good judgment. If you need a doctor... see one!


In a nutshell. Our dear friend Sodium Bicarbonate has saved the day twice in the space of a little more than a week.

In both cases, a well-established (if not clinically diagnosed) UTI was halted in its tracks and the symptoms reversed within an hour or two by drinking a simple solution of baking soda in water. Isn't that just awesome and amazing?!!!

One of the cases was even a man. When men get UTIs they're even worse than in women. (I know, girls, that seems impossible, but it's true.) Men don't get them as often because the bacteria have so much farther to travel and ordinarily don't get far enough to cause trouble. On the occasion when the bacteria do manage to cause a ruckus, however, it's because they're nasty, mean and royally pissed from all that traffic, heat and distance. Consequently, UTIs in men are also more likely to turn into kidney infections. It's like the bacteria say, "We've come all this way, we're getting our money's worth, dang it!"

YUCK!!! Been there. HATED IT! Imagine the joy that is a UTI all wrapped up in never-ending kidney punches... FUN FUN FUN!

But I digress...

Here's where the word of caution comes in.

It is very important to be aware of what you have been and will be eating when you use baking soda as medicine. It's sodium. It's natural and non-toxic, sure, but you can still overdose on it.

In my experience, the UTI had a chance to really get going so I made the mistake of taking a rounded teaspoon in a cup of water twice, back-to-back... following a Chinese food lunch... followed by a kinda salty dinner and another teaspoon in water before bed.

The result: I woke up feeling like I had the flu. Bad headache, rummy, tired, nauseous... but no UTI symptoms. I called poison control and was informed that two tablespoons is considered an overdose, so I was halfway there even before factoring in the salty food.

It is also important to note that I was quite deydrated before the UTI even got started... which most likely greatly contributed to its onset in the first place and heightened my chances for over-sodiuming myself with the baking soda solution to boot.

Treatment: 6 to 8 oz of water every hour. It could take up to three days for the chemistry to balance out again. If I had actually overdosed, poison control would have advised I go to Emergency to have blood drawn to check for an electrolyte imbalance.

In summery: Both cases were established enough to cause a fever and extreme pain. In the fellow, it was bad enough he left work nearly in tears... when we checked on him that afternoon he was much better. He was back at work and very grateful the next day.

In my case, the discomfort from too much sodium quickly overtook the UTI issues. Those symptoms were gone before the evening was over. The sodium stuff lasted for a couple of days, though steadily lessened once I started drinking enough water.

Lessons learned:
1) Evidence continues to mount in favor of baking soda in water as a fast, effective, convenient, inexpensive, non-pharmaceutical treatment for UTIs.

2) Baking soda and water is CHEMISTRY. The food you eat is CHEMISTRY. Your body is run by CHEMISTRY. Respect the CHEMISTRY. In other words... be aware of what you're putting into your body. Period.

3) What seems to be a safer dosage for UTI treatment is 1 teaspoon in a cup of water to start followed by a half-teaspoon in a cup of water a couple of hours later if symptoms persist. Don't exceed about 2 teaspoons in a 24 hour period. Watch how you feel and don't get crazy with the stuff.

4) Drink plenty of water, but don't overdo that either. 6 to 8 oz per hour seems about right.


If only I had figured this stuff out 20 years ago! I could have a beach house in Bali for all the money I would have saved in trips to the ER and meds... not to mention trying to undo all the wreckage in the pharmaceutical aftermath.

Again. I'm trusting you people to know and listen to your body and do what's right for you. Take control of your health, but seek professional advice if you need to. I'm not a doctor and don't even play one on the internet... I'm just passing along personal experiences and observations for you to consider in conjunction with your own good judgment.

I know lots of you get to this blog because you Googled baking soda and UTI. I would love it if you would comment (anonymously is fine) and give feedback on your own experiences. We could compile a wealth of empirical evidence. How cool would that be?!

Stay healthy, Y'all!

When I say "Baking Soda Works Miracles," it's not a rhetorical statement

Yes, you're seeing correctly. It is a TWELVE POUND bag of Baking Soda.

This post is especially for the Ladies. The only reason I say that is because it deals with an affliction from which, to date, only one male I know of personally has ever suffered. (And that, I'm SURE was karma!)

I am speaking of the dreaded and much-loathed Urinary Tract Infection (UTI) also known less accurately but far more conversationally as the "Bladder Infection."

People, there are few things on this earth that make a girl hate being a girl with more fury and gnashing of teeth than this bacterial menace. To add to the *enjoyment* you can rest assured that the vast majority of the time, said loveliness will usually choose, say Saturday morning at about 1:45 to present itself so as to make sure you are just miserable enough as to render you unable to wait for your regular doctor's office to open Monday morning to seek treatment... And the local ER's cash register *Ka-CHINGS!* with satisfaction.

Seriously. The last three times I've had one of these curses of gal-dom, I have had to fork over a $100 co-pay... only to be billed $160-and-change more from the ER after insurance! For which, by the way I am EXTREMELY grateful because just to walk into the ER in Lincoln City, tell them what was happening with me, get my blood pressure taken, pee in a cup, wait in a room under a pre-warmed blanket, tell the doc three times that yes, Pyridium DOES, in fact, contain red food dye... "what do you think makes your urine orange???" and therefore yes it WILL make me vomit, yes, I'm allergic to sulfa drugs and Cipro makes me sick as a dog, at which news he looks at me accusingly like I'm telling him all this just to challenge his medical knowledge and spouts at me with disgust, "Well, I'm running out of things to give you so you're going to have to take something or just take your chances until maybe this thing kills you!"

"Can you just give me some Macrobid and let me be on my way, please...?"

"Um, okay... $816 please!"

Can you imagine what it would have cost me if I needed, oh, I don't know, for them to actually figure out what was wrong with me? What if I had needed a stitch or something?! Ka-CHING!!

But, I digress...

So. Fast forward to Monday evening.

The unmistakable sensations begin and I'm thinking how grateful I am that at least it's not Saturday, but it is too late to call the doctor at the moment. I'm going to have to try some home triage until morning.

My mom happens to call and I tell her what's up and she says "Oh, I read the coolest thing about Alka Seltzer and UTIs! I can't remember exactly what it was, but, you know..."

Well, I don't own any Alka Seltzer, but I do have... you guessed it... Baking Soda!

What is Alka Seltzer but fizzy baking soda in a tablet?

I have nothing to lose at this point so I decide to improvise. I took a rounded teaspoon of Baking Soda and dissolved it into about 10oz of water. I drank it down as quickly as I could, *YUCK* and followed it with most of another glass of clear water. Of course, the burping erupted immediately... followed by some nausea, but that passed pretty quickly. An hour later, I began to notice some other, um, plumbing activity. It seemed I was purging a lot more than just urinary bacteria, but it wasn't like when that happens when you're sick. There wasn't any cramping, just an urgent need to "go!"

By bedtime, I felt mostly fine, but still made an appointment with the doc's office the next morning so as to not get another "ER Surprise" over the weekend. They couldn't get me in until Wednesday.

Tuesday, I felt fine all day but decided to do the baking soda and water thing again that evening, just for good measure. No extra "plumbing" action this time.

This morning, I kept my appointment with the doctor.

Guess what? For the FIRST TIME EVER my UTI test came back NEGATIVE!!!

The doctor walked into the exam room, results in hand, with her mouth hanging open in disbelief! There was not a TRACE of bacteria. Believe me, and gals who have experienced a UTI more than twice can attest... once you start down that road, there is NO question what those specific symptoms mean and they do NOT get better by thinking happy thoughts and waiting it out.

I'm not a doctor. I can't (legally) say the baking soda thing cured my UTI. All I can say is, somehow between Monday evening and this morning, with pretty much just baking soda and a whole bunch of water in between, the UTI was rendered completely undetectable... and the doctor was amazed enough to make a big deal about it.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'...

Baking soda: takes the stains out of your sink, deodorizes your fridge, cleans your teeth, and apparently your urinary tract... and the list goes on, and on and on...

Now THAT's what I call versatile!

Baking Soda and Water Cocktails all around! Woo Hoo!

Party on, Y'all!

The Magnificents

For those of you interested in tales of our amazing, big, fat adventure with God, you can check it out at our new blog!

Sadly, since one can't rearrange posts, you'll need to scroll all the way down to start at the beginning, or click the link at the top of the side bar.

It's okay of you come by just to gawk... we know we're Freaks... but that doesn't change how cool it all is.

Peace, Y'all!

A Book of Love

When my Granddad passed away 12 years ago, Grannee was more than devastated.

These two were the world's greatest lovers and had been honeymooning for more than 64 years. Suddenly, he was gone. Literally, her OTHER HALF was ripped from her and she felt helpless, hopeless and beyond alone.

She immediately moved in with my mom and step-dad where she was extremely well cared for, but nothing, of course, could take the place of her Dear George. Who could even try?

She even refused to sleep in a full sized bed because it felt too big without him spooned up behind her.

Now, Grannee and I have always had a very special and unique relationship that I cherish to this day. I am her namesake. Her "Dolly," as she used to call me. Gran and I related on a level that I can't explain and won't dare to try. When she lost her Love, all I wanted was to make the pain and loneliness stop, but realistically, who could? All I could do was remind her how much I loved her and all she was to me. She was such a profound influence on my life but I couldn't always be there at her side to remind her. I had a life of my own to attend to and knew that as time passed, it would get harder and harder for her to remember all the things I told her in our precious stolen moments together so... I decided to write her a book. A book of love that she could turn to whenever she needed to remember.

Grannee passed away on April 21st of 2006; just two weeks shy of the 10 year anniversary of when Granddad left us. Ten years without the love of her life she had spent over half a century doing life with. Wow. I can't even begin to imagine how hard that was for her.

At her memorial service, the minister read passages from my book as examples of the effect she had on me and every other person with whom she ever came in contact. (Not to mention what being around them as a couple would do to people! They were absolutely amazing... anyway) He approached me after the service and said I should publish the book. That it would mean a lot to people... at the very least, for my family.

It struck me as rather funny since it is such an intensely personal document. Who else would care about my relationship with Gran?

Well, I never got it "published" to print, but after nearly two years of sitting on it, I decided that maybe here was a good place to put it out to the world.

It's long. 37 pages even, so be forewarned. If you choose to tackle this undertaking, you will be peering into some of the most intimate thoughts and feelings I have shared with one of the single most important people to my very existence. But it is the product of so much unconditional love and encouragement that it doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of all she was to and did for me and who I have become... and continue to become.

So, with that said, I present for your perusal, "A Book Of Love."

Click on each image to see it at full, actually readable, size.

Waiting for the cow to pop

This is one of those post-counseling, one-foot-in-front-of-the-other, the-bread-goes-inside-the-bag kind of days... you know... just enough motivation to get out of my jammies and straight into sweat pants. Screw the make up. I have managed to feign just a little productivity, though, so I've got that going for me. Well, that and a great (long) phone call with Miss Wendy... Thanks, Love! You so totally rock! ;)

Now, on to the NEWS at hand...

Bossy the Beautiful Bovine is due to have her next calf on or about Wednesday the 13th! She looks like she's about to pop any second based on her, um, symptoms... I swear, her udder is so full it makes my breasts hurt just remembering what it feels like when your body is getting ready to be the sole source of food for a growing little body... GAH! Been there, DONE WITH that...

Her last calf had a very sad ending and we are so ready for a healthy, bouncy little black and white baby. I'm glad to see Bossy looks like she's ready and able to welcome her fuzzy little bundle of joy. Ahhhh... babies...

Still, though, better her than ME!

I'm very contented with the fact that my babies are old enough to reach the bunny crackers and juice boxes on their own without the need for me to excrete anything from my person, thank you very much. :)

Stay tuned for pics and play-by-play upon the bouncing baby bovine's arrival!

Peace in the pasture, Y'all.

I was born a grown-up.

It's Sunday *morning and to say I have been X-Treme Multitasking would be a gross understatement.

I have been working, listening to some amazing worship music and contemplating where I actually am emotionally/mentally/spiritually, compared to where I thought I was and...

... how...

... I ...

... got ...

... H E R E.

Actually, I've spent the last couple of days pondering the last topic almost constantly.


Disclaimer: By now, you will likely have guessed that this will not be the usual lighthearted "Angeleen" post. I'm going deeper folks and if you'd rather read about premium cat litter and life with cows than watching me plumb the depths of my surprisingly complicated emotional interior, you might want to check back in a post or two.


This isn't the venue for getting too explicit about why I dropped off the planet for a while there, so I will only say that it involved some pretty heavy, life-altering events and choices that have caused me to take a very long look at how I got to the place where those events could occur. I am going to start counseling soon to make my best effort at getting to the bottom of these issues, start healing, stop the cycle of pain and hopefully spare my girls a similar legacy.

They will get to have a childhood full of innocence and security.

I was never a kid.

This is not a new concept in my observations of my self, rather I have a new awareness of the long-term impact of the unaddressed fact.

I was introduced to the quagmire of adult situations and traumas and vocabulary and conflicts and heartaches and pain... all of it... by the age of three.

It was kinda like being fed the Fruit of the Tree of What Grown-Ups Know and Wish They Didn't served on a graham cracker and washed down with the innate knowledge I had no power whatsoever to escape any of it.

By the time I was about 12, for all practical purposes, I was fully indoctrinated... the only vestige of childhood that remained was the inability to control my own surroundings. EDIT:**My mom was on her second divorce, and would enter into her third doomed marriage within EDIT: a year and a half. My focus was taking care of her. With regard to my needs and desires and goals, I just wanted to be as little trouble as possible, make her happy and to be one thing she didn't have to worry about. One thing about her life that wasn't complicated. EDIT:***My brother and I were really good kids... I didn't get complicated until much later.

I wasn't adventurous.

I wasn't rebellious.

I didn't drink or use drugs and tried to be a good influence on my friends who did.

I wasn't mouthy or belligerent.

And, though I discovered *boys* waaaaay too young, I wasn't what you could remotely call promiscuous or in any way reckless.

I was never disrespectful.

I was always upbeat and smiling and dishing out hugs to people, even when, at times, I was living a nightmare at home...

I got reasonably good grades, was well-thought-of by my teachers and had a small group of very good friends.

I was, and am, a survivor.

By the time I hit 17 I had *memorized* The Unillustrated Guide to the Troubled World of Adults without ever cracking Intro to Adolescence or How to be a Proper Teenager.

.........

All this is to preface my most newly-formed hypothesis on one element of the contributing factors of recent events. Here it is:

Our lives are supposed to happen in a very specific sequence. Each phase builds off of the one before it, must be taken in order (duh) and is set aside for us to make mistakes/take actions/engage in events that are appropriate to that age and time with correspondingly appropriate risks and life lessons.

If you skip ahead and miss those lessons, you will still have to get them somewhere down the road. Even if it's many, many years down that road.

One of the lessons you learn as a teenager is that being reckless and disrespectful is distructive and effects everyone around you. Only, for the well-brought-up teenager, there is less at risk, for the most part, of far-reaching and profound damage. You also have the benefit of being able to blame your transgressions on being young and inexperienced and you have plenty of life ahead of you to redeem yourself.

When you're 40... It's a whole different story. When you trip, there are legions of souls who fall with you. There are no reasons that fully satisfy the pain-filled questions. There are no answers or explanations that lead to spontaneous healing and enlightenment... and there are children involved whom you risk thrusting into that exact place in which you found yourself all those years ago.

The anguish and remorse take on fully-fledged, grown-up-sized magnitude and the whole weight of just how much work there lies ahead crushes your chest and makes breathing feel like a luxury. Sleep is a futile endeavor without properly medicating far enough in advance. Eating? Nearly impossible.

But, where there is enough Love, there is Hope. With Love, miracles can and will happen. I have been blessed with people in my life that Love me more than I ever imagined possible or deserve. Even when they shouldn't want to, they Love me and that helps me keep loving myself. My husband is the most obvious and best example of people who continue to show me this kind of Love, but by far, not the only one.

It's God's love shining through them that gives me Hope. Hope that all this pain and revelation is part of God's plan to make me the person He meant for me to be when he put me in my mom's belly.

There are so many things I still need to discover about myself, healing to be done, deficits to be filled in order for that person to live and breathe and be a blessing to others. But, in the Long Run, the exquisite agony of these latent growing pains will be worth it because they are baby steps toward becoming the person He meant for me to be. I could run away and just be contented to stay damaged and incomplete because it would be easier in the short-term, but what a waste. With superhuman effort, patience and Love, in the fullness of time, His perfect plan will come to fruition and on the other side of this experience I'll know what he really intended my life to look like. Yes, I have Hope.

I don't know what Shelly The Counselor will think of my theory of my skipped adolescence, but I'm pretty sure I'll be one client that gives her a lot to chew on... or perhaps baldness and premature aging...

I'll keep you posted as to my progress and her wrinkling.

Peace Y'all



*clearly not morning any more.

**It is very important to note that I do NOT blame my mom for my "issues." I never have. She did the best she could in her own set of circumstances. She had her own set of baggage and always, ALWAYS TRIED to do what she thought was best for us, sacrificed for and loved us without limits. I am merely relaying the facts of my early life and don't intend to place "blame."

***Due in no small part to the unceasing prayers of our amazing grandparents who provided a haven of stability and accountability in our lives... and STILL do... even after their passing.