Ninja Cat: Fun Filler For the Feline-o-phile

Dude. I just shot coffee out my nose.

This is awesome.

Watch for the fluffy white cat...

... its behavior on the treadmill and mine are eerily identical.

Real post coming soon...

While you're waiting for my gray matter to issue something of reasonable pertinenance, here's an awesome quote I found on the NYT humor page:



"Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid."

— John Wayne



Truer words were never funnier, Pilgrim.

Happy Friday, People!

This could be me!

Well, except for the receding hair line and the fancy downtown office, but otherwise...

Enjoy this momentary glimpse into what my job can feel like sometimes. This is sheer brilliance!

Friday afternoon amusement

Been wondering what to do with all your old vinyl LPs?

I guess if you can't play the disk, your last resort is to play with the cover.










You can check out more of 'em at sleeveface.com.

Happy Friday, Y'all!

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Which also means, Happy Anniversary Kelly and Laura! And thanks for making it so danged easy to remember. Smart thinkin'!

Lots more to post once I finally catch up from all the things I need to blog about!

In the mean time, enjoy the cheesy goodness of the above snippet of a under-appreciated classic.

Nachos anyone?!

Adios, Y'all!

I have but one question...

... I have *seven* cats. What does that make me?

You're right. I don't want to know.


Please note: it's not like I reside in a studio apartment with my feline throng... I live on acreage, People. This fact should be taken into account when forming your judgment as to the degree and severity of my psychoses...


Kitty People, enjoy the vid'!

I know what you're thinking...

Your Superpower Should Be Mind Reading

(This little foray into randomness inspired by Beth.) You are brilliant, insightful, and intuitive. You understand people better than they would like to be understood. Highly sensitive, you are good at putting together seemingly irrelevant details. You figure out what's going on before anyone knows that anything is going on! Why you would be a good superhero: You don't care what people think, and you'd do whatever needed to be done Your biggest problem as a superhero: Feeling even more isolated than you do now

What Should Your Superpower Be?

A Sophisticated Discussion on Art

Thank you to *richiedesign* for posting this most informative and inspiring discussion on the Nature of Art.

Kudos to Aardman Studios for producing it. Brilliant! Best thing they've offered us since Wallace and Gromit.

Enjoy.





Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to don a beret, squint with intensity while holding a cigarette that will never touch my lips and make coffee rings on the surface of my very cluttered desk.

I shall call my masterpiece: Fuel for the Frustration

Adieu, Dahhhhlings...

NYT Mac ad link...

For those of you who didn't make it to the New York Times online home page in time to see the BRILLIANT ad I gushed over in my 1/17/08 post...

Click on the picture or here :)

I do what I can in the interest of Mac Snob Public Service...

Stripped Down and Sophisticated

Remember how fascinated we all where when the California Raisins introduced us to Stop Motion Animation?

Well, it was out there before in a clunky, unrefined form, but Wil Vinton took it to a whole new level and made us aware of what we were looking at. Made it cool.

I found this video on the New York Times humor page and just sat there agape. This is not over-produced, CGI, let's-see-how-much-eye-candy-we-can-generate, cutting-edge techno-flash.

So jaded am I by what technology makes possible that I am seldom impressed when I watch any heavily CGIed piece of animation or live action. I've seen the man behind the curtain and know that my eye can easily be tricked by legions of talented, young professionals locked away for uncountable hours performing unimaginable feats of programming acrobatics.

This piece, however, is so refreshing for me to watch. So simple and pristinely executed... its spartan elegance and the effort and time AWAY from a computer it took to produce made me say, "WOW!"

It takes a great deal to make me say, "WOW!" ...about anything.

glumbert - Stop Motion Battle

This is a total breath of fresh air.

Enjoy!

I almost spit coffee out my nose.

Some things are just *naturally* funny... juvenile, perhaps, but really, really funny nonetheless. Make sure all liquids are at a safe distance and enjoy.

Happy Friday!

It's okay if you need to smirk... you can even chuckle if you want!

Personally, they make me laugh right out loud... but then, I live with them.

Shameless Filler

Joke of the Day

A guy walks into a bar with a priest, a minister, a rabbi, a Polish guy, and a duck. The bartender says, "What is this, a joke?"

— Joke told to Esquire.com by the "Nip/Tuck" actress Joely Richardson.

What's Next, Cat Juggling?!

Wondrous Gift From Above or Evil Implement of Kitty Terror?

The nights have gotten quite nippy of late here on the Ranch, so one or more of the four members of the outside-at-night contingent have started weaseling their way into sleeping inside the house.

Sometimes it's blatant. More often, it is a covert operation involving diversion and subterfuge.

They all usually prefer to roam the shadow realm when night falls, finding refuge in the hay bales in the barn when the temps take a dip. But if the weather takes a turn for the very wet or extra chilly, the finagling begins.

Two of the four are very well behaved and can be trusted indoors. The other two are menaces who, after having successfully achieved bedtime invisibility, will make their presence and strong desires known somewhere between 4:00 and 6:00 AM in a most raucous and boisterous display that, should I choose to turn a deaf ear and continue soaking my pillow with drool while pursuing that ever-illusive French truffle the size of an ottoman, will give way to retaliatory vandalism.

We have recently discovered however, that there is, in fact, such thing as Kitty Karma.

Not long ago, our dearly beloved and faithful, fairly low-tech coffee maker went kaput. It was simple featuring only a thermal carafe and timing capabilities, but made great coffee. Upon its demise, my folks generously gifted us a new, state-of-the-art, fancy schmancy model that had been languishing unopened in their garage. It not only brews your coffee and holds it at the temperature of your particular preference, it even grinds your fresh, whole beans and dumps the fragrant grounds right into the filter for you at the precise moment and grind consistency to achieve the most technologically perfect cup o' joe ever devised by a team of overpaid engineers.*


So, there I am, post-alarm, cozily drowsing in eager anticipation of the joyful sound of our new java droid awakening to begin its life of servitude when it happens...

The timer hits 6:55, the grinder whirs and clatters to life and, at that exact split second... the unmistakable sound of 16, startled and terror-filled paws frantically scratching their heated exit from the still-dark kitchen, then thundering down the hallway toward our bedrooms and presumed sanctuary.

In stead of comfort and consolation, they found me, standing there in my jammies, laughing at them in unexpected, payback bliss!

Apparently the sneaky ones had somehow *overslept* and got a taste of what it's like to be startled awake by a harsh and unexpected racket...

"HA!" I say. Double "HA!"

Though I did feel kinda bad for the good, polite, quiet kitties who let me sleep, I savored that first cup from the shee-shee machine with great relish and just a bit of sick satisfaction.

"The new coffee maker is so fast, why don't you set the timer for when you're already up and the lights are on so it doesn't come as such a shock to them when it starts up?" my kind-hearted husband asked.

"What? And deny myself all that sadistic pleasure? Are you nuts?"

Poor kitties. Poor, poor traumatized little kitties...

::snicker::

Now, where did I leave the vacuum...




* Don't get me wrong, it's really a nice machine, but it cracks me up how this thing is supposed to make "making coffee" so much more convenient. Now, instead of: grind coffee the night before; place in filter; pour water into reservoir; activate timer; upon finishing coffee toss used filter... I get to: place beans in grinder the night before, pour water into reservoir; activate timer; upon finishing coffee dismantle the entire machine, clean five separate pieces and dry thoroughly before reassembling... so I can have my coffee ground for me and drink it five minutes sooner! I have to laugh at myself that I love it so much.

Pheasant Present*

(For illustration purposes only... not my actual pheasant... obviously.)



What a present
Was the pheasant
I did glimpse upon this morn.

Not a peasant
Of a pheasant,
He, so regally adorned.

Til’ now I had
But seen him at
The far side of the pasture.

The bushes and
The fences had
Obscured his noble stature.

But on this day
He came my way
And stood there in the sunshine.

Mere feet away
His fear gave way
He scuttled for the tree line.

For my presence
To this pheasant
Was to surely be construed

As not pleasant
For the pheasant
But, a plan to make him food.

So effort he
Did make quickly
To end up not under glass.

How could he know
I would not go
And eat his fine, plum'd carcass.

Cam’ra in hand
Across our land
I searched through garden and trees

I did intend
To show, my Friend,
The pure glory that was he.

To write a post
For those, at most
Whose number has surged to three!

Not how to roast
Or even toast
But share his unique beauty.

But at present
My dear pheasant
Is a hidin’ in an a tree.

Seems the present
Of my pheasant
Was a gift saved just for me.

*Disclaimer:
Yes, I am aware this composition is a syllabically-rhythmic train wreck. I'm no poet, but as I was tramping around in the grass trying to find said purty birdie, this started rattling in my cranium so, I thought, "What the heck? Why not open myself up to a whole new reason for folks to point at me and laugh, 'eh?" I say,"What better way to start a Monday?!"...

... Except, of course, for going out to the garage to get some bread yeast outta the fridge and seeing a freakin' gorgeous bird hanging out right outside the window!

Very, VERY cool!


Happy Monday, Y'all! And enjoy that belly laugh at my expense. Really. I don't mind a bit!

This Could Explain The Multiple Contusions and Sketchy Memory

This is why only our 14-year-old cat sleeps inside.

He's too old and fragile to lift any blunt, heavy objects, but will at times resort to the old "knock-over-the-glass-of-water-on-the-night-stand-with-my-head" maneuver.

Can you imagine the carnage if all seven slept inside?!
::shiver::